Sadness Pt 2 December 2011

I am not sure if I ever feel sadness, if I do its showin in a different emotion physically. Cognitively, I am not sure what sadness is... Correction, I've felt sadness when I have lost people or things- I have felt it, it sucks. It hurts in my stomach and I immediatly blame myself or look inwards in an attempt to understand why im feeling that way. Thus, logically I end up feeling negative about myself in some way. So, logically I avoid sadness as much as possible. I am not really sure hwo else to feel sadness or what to say about it. I know a lot and fel a lot about all other emotions. But with sadness I just physically feel a lot. I have worked so hard to avoid feeling sadness in my realtionships with other people-- and it worked. I am sad very rarely. Which most of the time i feel is good. Also its rare or hard to cry when im sad. Ironically, some of the time it is easy to cry which most people associate with sadness but I cry when I feel angry, frustrated, powerless, or misunderstood. Perhaps, underneath all those emotions is some kind of sadness. I honestly dont know. FML I am already checked out.