Treatment Motivations:
My motivation to get treatment this time feels so vastly different than any other time I have been in treatment (thank god). Oddly, not so much because of the legal trouble I got in but because I have firmly and securely realized that If I were to keep my eating disorderà I am never going to be happy. Yes, I may be able to be skinny and get the attention I feel I need. Yet, forever will I be drained and depressed, ashamed and will lack the desire to live. I will forever punish myself for the talents wasted and lost.
I desperately want this Ed to go away because I want to be happy, not only because it affects me, because it affects my relationships with those I love. I want to love them and be able to show it, for them to feel it- not only do they deserve it but because they have always stood by me with unwavering support for my recovery… They deserve nothing less.
I also want to get better because once again I want to experience pride in my life: I want to pursue my talent in running, and I want to become a teacher. I want to have the potential to effect someone’s life, and dreams the way some teachers did for me. There is something different this time. That alone excites me.
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