11/12/11 Relationship with Food and People

The biggest overarching connection I have with my food habits and people is that I want the company, the companionship so much. This coincides with my hunger, my deprivation.nThen I deprive myself og a social life almost completely besides my boyfriend or one close friends. Because in the end it has been hard to trust either 100%.

I dont trust 99% of people and dont trust 99% of food in my body. Thus I get rid of the food and stay awa from the people because I dont trust them. My distrust with people runs deeper becausE I never know what they want or what they are going to do with me or how they will treat me and how it will end. Same goes for the food, there is this illogical belief that some or all food is going to do something detrimentally to me or harm me by causing me to gain weight. In the same way I calssify people in the same way I never know what I am going to get-the lack of control and determination of fact is what I crave. I get neither from people or food. I dont have control in both aspects- So i avoid things that lack my complete control and knowledge of what EXACTLY will happen.