Today was an okay day. Nothing bad or out of the ordinary happened. I just can't get away from my ED. I starve then I eat then purge. Its an endless cycle of complete depletion and then paranoia from having food in me. I think im feeling sad. I say think because Im not totally sure. I feel like im missing something-someone. My mom was going to come out to visit me but surprise surprise looks like she won't be able to--- $$ reasons. ALWAYS. I just want someone here for me. It sucks.
On a lighter note, my sister just got engaged! I am really excited for her. But my first two thoughts were 1. I wonder where I'd be w/ Thomas if my ED hadn't taken control and 2. I wonder if I will be alive this time next year for the wedding...
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