I have a soul...
I'm sure of it. I know this because everyday I see it. I know its a good soul too.
Everyday, multiple times a day it shows it's face, reminds me that there's something good left in me. Something angelic, something pure, something young and free. I see it during those wretched multiple occurrences a day when tears rush out of my eyes; not from emotion but because of ED. Each time they fall down my face its as if my soul is yelling out "stop doing this it hurts- I hurt". Then I walk out of the bathroom, look in the mirror w/ the tears streaming down my face I know they are real because my black eyeliner streaks down my face in lining their tracks. I believe its the inner "good" me crying out in pain, in exhaustion-not wanting one more day of this madness. I cease to listen. I merely take comfort in my soul's presence each and every day, solemnly knowing there is some part of me deep down that is good, that wants recovery that has emotions that hurts-that loves--that wants life.
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Absolutely--I think the discovery of one's soul is probably one of the most exciting and comforting discoveries we make in this life--even if our soul seems to disappear as quickly from our sight and sound as she made her presence known. I think that the tracking of my soul is probably one of the biggest endeavors of my life.
ReplyDeleteI think you have a beautiful soul, one that has touched me, comforted me any number of times in the past, for which I am grateful. I can also see the strength and beauty of your soul in this blog.
ReplyDelete