havent written in awhile. but instead of saying why-- im just going to say I am so happy to have two verbally abusive relationships out of my life
- My landlord--gone moved out content where I live now
-old boss-quit - he gave me a quick attack at the end to make sure he got the last word. But my new employer is amazingly genuine and nice and already said she "feels like my mom". I have every reason to be optimistic and I need to remember that.
My new job is going to be peacefully busy if thats possible. Ill be walking dogs and taking care of them but will be doing that a lot. I hope I hope I can handle it.
I hate my ed. well the bp part. but I still am in love with not eating being empty and feeling small. I am doing everything I can to stay on that side. it makes me feel less out of control and crazy than the former.
Still not wanting treatment...
Have a bf- care about him- scared of the feelings-scared I might drive him away- scared its always going to be this pattern where they come then go.
Scared of the future scared of the uncertain, anything that is not a repetitive routine. I doubt the future I doubt my ability to sanely make it there.
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